Dave Berry's medicine

Dave Berry is tired of pharmacuetical commercials:

"Recently, I was lying on the sofa and watching my favorite TV show, which is called, ''Whatever Is on TV When I'm Lying on the Sofa.'' I was in a good mood until the commercial came on. It showed an old man (and when I say ''old man,'' I mean ''a man who is maybe eight years older than I am'') helping his grandson learn to ride a bicycle.

I was watching this, wondering what product was being advertised (Bicycles? Dietary fiber? Lucent?) and the announcer said: ``Aren't there enough reasons in your life to talk to your doctor about Zocor?''

The announcer did not say what ''Zocor'' is. It sounds like the evil ruler of the Planet Wombax. I figure it's a medical drug, although I have no idea what it does. And so, instead of enjoying my favorite TV show, I was lying there wondering if I should be talking to my doctor about Zocor. My doctor is named Curt, and the only time I go to his office is when I am experiencing a clear-cut medical symptom, such as an arrow sticking out of my head. So mainly I see Curt when I happen to sit near him at a sporting event, and he's voicing medical opinions such as, ''HE STINKS!'' and ''CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW BAD THIS GUY STINKS??'' This would not be a good time to ask him what he thinks about Zocor (''IT STINKS!'')."